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Poems - Page 2
Gaz

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The Deputy

A Deputies work is never done in fact it never starts
When asked to get up off his arse he screws his face and farts
He wants them rings bag-backing he wants them rings up quick
He says he's locked the Dosco off so use a f……g pick!
The fitter says this gearbox here is running very hot
He says well keep it running 'til we get rid of this dot (dirt)
Three rings or four and maybe more just to keep him quiet
And if he stops our time this week we'll have a bloody riot
He's always here at weekends with a big pay-day in sight
Sat'day noon's and Sunday days but rarely Friday night

He's never wet and he'll never sweat so don't it seem quite funny
But with a stroke of his pen he'll get heat and water money
He's not a bad sort when phoning his report and he's got a lot to show
Set the crown and then get down what he don't see he won't know
He says he does a thankless job with our best health at heart
But a visit from the HMI can tear this man apart
Use a proper lifting chain and get a proper clamp
He never trusts an AFD but does his Safety lamp
He has to please the gaffer and rally all his men
And just when he's finished his Det card they want to fire again

Gary Roe ©1991

He says he's locked the Dosco off

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Have You Heard

No one is quite sure no evidence can be found
But you will hear it soon there's a rumour going round
A woman in the Grocers shop said "Listen do you hear?"
"They're upping miners severance pay to two an arf grand a year"
A council friend of a mate of mine a reliable well-known mole
Has seen some plans and says its true you'll all be on the dole
My uncle's friend has told me what he'd heard the other night
They're taking over Annesley pit-top for the new Toyota site

They're gonna finish fifty men on this fact you can wager
As true as I am riding this bike or my names not John Major
There is this demolition chap that goes in our Co-op
Who says they've got the contract to flatten our pit-top
And now there's one more rumour left that I would like to hear
Is the one that says you've got this job for another twenty year

Gary Roe ©1991

Annesley Pit-Top

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Below is a poem of a true incident one night shift

A Friend In Need
(is left bloody frozen…)

Adrian came up the pit one cold and frosty morn
At the end of a night shift weak weary and forlorn
It must be minus two as you walk across the yard
Even the mud underfoot has frozen to rock hard
Now the weather in the night had been far from nice
And left all the car windscreens a generous coat of ice
Adrian started his car but for reasons I am lost
Turned on his headlights before scraping off the frost

It was almost ten to seven as he looked down at his watch
When the driver's side door closed upon the very first notch
New centralised locking is good there is no doubt
But as if by jinx it locked poor Adrian out
Then along came Ron he would help for sure
Tried his best with the catch to open up the door
His intent to help with the problem there afoot
And certainly by accident left the door fully shut!

Now with engine running and headlights shining bright
Along came Mick and Tony to help him with his plight
"A phone call home " said Mick while sipping at his tea
No good 'tho' his wife replied "Adrian has no spare key"
Tony had a thought, if this had happened to me
I've got the answer now I'll ring the RAC
The rescue man instructed lest I go too far
Give a sign like waving as I approach your car

Tony had to pose as the member in distress
He felt such an idiot he later did confess
The RAC man in his job had seen some peculiar sights
But, doors locked, engine running and switched on full head lights!
The man worked undaunted with a piece of steel band
Then Adrian appeared with hot coffee in his hand
Poor Tony stood there freezing that's needless to say
Then Adrian finished his coffee and bid them all good-day

Gary Roe ©1999