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Poems - Page 1
Gaz

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Merry Xmas

This Was The First Poem I Did


God rest ye merry gentlemen let nothing you dismay
The pit will soon be closing so live from day to day
A lot will go down with us, so severance will be sparse
The Tories don't want British coal so you can kiss their arse
Some said 'You're only a number son' I thought that was all crap
We'd bore and shovel and timber and not have time for snap
We went into the Bonus Scheme more money for us all
The output was tremendous but it lead to our downfall 
The big strike came in 'eighty-four but that was all in vain
No one listened to Arthur, the Tories won again
They're selling off the power and selling off our water
And pumping up the interest rates as we buy our bricks and mortar
Now times are changing poets say and many pits have passed away
Our futures glum, there is no doubt I think it's time to f… off out

Gary Roe Debut Poem 1988

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Seniority Breeds Contempt

A Deputy and an Overman a hunting one-day went
The Overman with a Thermos flask, the Deputy with a gun and a tent
They set off in the country, for miles and miles they'd tramp
As the night was drawing near decided to make a camp
"Neither of us are workmen" came up in the Overmans thoughts
When he is underground, I'm up pit taking reports
It's a case of re-deployment now the sun had finally sank
"You go out and hunt down food" as the Overman swiftly pulled rank
The Deputy bagged a rabbit and was ready to shoot at this deer
When out of the bush came a lion, his body trembled with fear
He started a hasty retreat but the lion quickly gave chase
The beast was about to pounce, when the Deputy fell flat on his face
The lion went crashing into the tent to devour his NACODS brother

With a grin and a wink the Deputy said "Skin that and I'll fetch you another"




A Spy in the Baths

 

Pit work is ever changing and technology is high
Now the Coal Board have employed an e-lectronic eye
They're hidden away but not behind locks
And live in a little neat grey plastic box

You've no need to be brilliant at science and maths
To learn that there's one at each end of the baths
To catch thieves at work. Then it makes good sense
But to video you naked you might take offenceIn this day and age it is not allowed
'Tho the size of your manhood could make you feel proud
Now anyone in the office can switch on a screen
And your family jewels can clearly be seen

Civil liberty is invaded and men will be vexed
British coal is watching so what will come next
You might think it a laugh and this all sounds a might silly
But I wonder whose sat in there watching your willy

Gary Roe ©1991



The Poster Competition

Safety is our main concern and accident rates are dipping
Even tho a lot are caused by stumbling and tripping
The Pit-top's full of posters with our good health in mind
A competition was set for us to do one of this kind

The prize would come in handy for the winner of this class
Something to take the Missus home, a few quid's worth of glass
It'll look good in a cabinet or displayed on a shelf
A mate of mine said, "That sounds fine I'll have a go myself"

With pencils pen and paper he's got no time for dinner
It took two weeks to finish, its go to be a winner
He added a little slogan, with graphics now complete
A drawing of two pit boots and something about feet?

We took the piss and pulled his leg and he took it all with mirth
But when he done the winning poster it brought us down to earth
He went to have his photo took receiving the first prize
But when they got it out the draw he couldn't believe his eyes

Expecting Crystal glassware right up until when…
A shake of the hand and a pat on the back, you've won a British Coal pen!

Gary Roe ©1991